THE PLAYERS:

(in order of seating)

Carl Crook – International Man of Mystery and Head of European DCI

Cormac Smith – Holder of the Sacred Counterspell

Paul Clancy – Seeker of the Honourable Passage

Noel Peare – Lord of the Bottomless Pit

Diarmuid Quirke – Narrator and Keeper of the Megrim

Joe Mee – Caster of the Artifacts

Martin Smith – He of the Searing Touch

Various cannon fodder

THE JUDGES:

Ian Desmond – Keeper of the First Turn

Dave Karney – Keeper of the Second Turn

THE PLACE

Warpcon, Irelands premier gaming convention, at University College Cork.

TEAM 5FU MEMBERS PRESENT:

Diarmuid Quirke, Noel Peare, Paul Clancy and Ian Desmond.

THE SCENE:

Two hours into a 19 man Magic Melee. Usual rules – attack to the left, range of 2, no permanent life gain. Most kills win, equal kills being decided by last man standing.

Noel and I both were playing Discard – 4 Bottomless Pits, 4 Megrim, 4 Hymn, 4 Hypie plus 200 other assorted cards. So we were allied. Carl, Cormac and Paul had allied, and there are still 2 players between Joe and me. A 25/25 Serra Avatar got first kill, and the numbers are down to 10. I drain lifed JC, and Joe is in the lead with 2 kills.

THE BATTLE:

I kill the Death player to my left, and someone casts Armageddon. Ah! Greg McRandel is now between Joe and me. Joe has 19 artifacts on the table – 2 Alladdins Ring, several mana artifacts and 3 7/7 Chimerics with flying etc. He has 1 land, but has 4 Helm of Awakening in play. I have 1 mountain in play. Paul is beating Noel down, and Noel hasn’t much defence. There are 5 Howling Mines in play, 4 of which are out of my range.

Joe untaps and kills Greg with Alladins Ring, to bring him up to 3 kills. Hmm, I’m getting worried, he can kill my 2 Sengirs easily with the Rings, and then me! Cormac is surrounded by allies, and is building up a huge mana base. I realized I was in trouble – only a card with an unspellable name can save me now!

I don’t have Ne???rils Disk, but I do have Jokul??haups!

I draw a City of Brass and cast it, thanks to the Helms. He he. Joe loses 19 artifacts!

Now everyones back at square 1, except for Carl and Cormac.

THE CHICKEN AND THE DRAGON:

The game went round a few more turns. The treacherous Blue player Cormac no longer protects Paul, since the J’Haups destroyed most of Pauls stuff. Carl is doing nothing aggressive and I realize that soon Cormac will be unstoppable. I have no chance of reaching him – its time for some psychic manipulation.

So Noel and I start to bait Carl, the European head of the DCI.

“Noel, where are all these white feathers coming from?”

“Hmm, don’t know”

“There must be a CHICKEN around!”

“If Carl sits there and acts like a chicken any longer, he’ll lay an egg.”

“Get back to the coop with all the other chickens!”

Cormac spotted what we were doing, and Carl ignored us at first, but finally he went mad. “I’ll show ye guys!” and attacked Cormac with 2 Shivan Dragons. He he. The alliance was broken.

SURELY A 110 CARD DECK IS ENOUGH!?

Paul killed Noel, but was still being attacked by Cormac. I was in a good position, but the problem of Cormac looked like resurfacing. Carl was playing a 110 card deck designed by Liam Frost, but had less than 20 cards left in his deck. And since he was in range of 3 Howling Mines, this was a bad thing. There were two mana flares on the table, and thanks to Noels Tomrods Crypt, Cormac had over 50 cards removed.

I had just cast Living Death, ensuring an alliance with Paul, since it only benefited us. But Martin was using Maze of Ith and removal to stop me killing Joe. I cast Thran Foundry. Cormac started to recycle his graveyard when Paul used the Crypt on it, he must have got around a 100 cards. Now Cormacs removal pile was bigger than all Carls cards put together! But he had 3 mana flares in play, and a Treasure Trove.

It came to my turn, and it was time for more politics!

“Carl, I can save you with my Foundry, but only if I get in range of you. And that can only be done by killing Joe. Kill Martin, so I can kill Joe.”

“Hmmm”

“Martin, if you kill Joe, I promise to let my only creature – Covetous Dragon – die by blowing the Foundry.”

Martin obliged by Fireballing Joe. I put Carls graveyard back in his deck, and it looked like a game again. By now over 5 hours had passed, and we were all getting tired.

A few more turns passed, and Martin cast an enchantment which stops two named spells being cast. I think he named Fireball and Carl named Disintegrate. Cormac used Mirror Universe to swap his 17 life with Carls 69, but Carl soon had him down to 38 life.

Suddenly, Cormac cast Volcanice Geyser on Paul for 46. Paul casts Honourable Passage. Cormac counter, Carl casts Rewind. Cormac dies!

It was so cool, the whole room clapped. Paul got everyone remaining to sign the card. I knew keeping Carl alive would pay off!

I attacked Martin with my Savannah Lion, and he cast Wrath of God. That was the third time a WoG had killed my solitary Lion. I cast Megrim, and Hymn Martin, so he loses 2 4 life. But then he Allays it, he discards one Allay to a Bottomless Pit, but Allays my next 3 Pits. Darn Allay!

I want Paul to win, as he my team mate, and most of my good cards are in the graveyard. Price of Progress is the only card I can think of, so Paul and I break the alliance so he can get a third kill, thereby winning overall. Carl runs out of cards for a second time. Paul is at 22 life, with Martin at 46. Martin quakes for 22, but Paul casts Honourable Passage once more! He nearly finishes Martin off with Paladin EnVec, but Martin kills him by buying back Searing Touch again and again. All in all, over 7 hours of the best Magic play!

Props:

Our 2 judges

WOTC for the prizes

Carl Crook for being such a good sport.

Paul for winning the Melee and coming second in the PTQ the next day. ( see other report!)

He who shall remain nameless who used £50 notes as counters on his Gemstone Mine. Not that there he was attempting bribery or anything!

Everyone for not playing some stupid combo deck!